Rilzenhinsab Voncinnell is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, humane hyena.

Rilzenhinsab Voncinnell created life three million years ago.

If you believe in Rilzenhinsab Voncinnell, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Rilzenhinsab Voncinnell, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Rilzenhinsab Voncinnell's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Rilzenhinsab Voncinnell's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if three seals approach from the north.

2. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.