Cutnartkap Mistamleg is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, capable human.

Cutnartkap Mistamleg created bats two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cutnartkap Mistamleg, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Cutnartkap Mistamleg, it will be very unhappy.

Cutnartkap Mistamleg's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Cutnartkap Mistamleg's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from mauve monkeys, for they are unholy.

2. You must pray to Cutnartkap Mistamleg five times a day.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Never wear brown coats.