Teentapcudyarp is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, all-knowing clam.

Teentapcudyarp created the planet Mars eight million years ago.

If you believe in Teentapcudyarp, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Teentapcudyarp, it will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Teentapcudyarp's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Teentapcudyarp's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about amino acids.

2. Never think about gravity.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Never mention birds.

5. Never write about the strong nuclear force.