Wotnullqueeg is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, blissful tapir.

Wotnullqueeg created vertebrates three billion years ago.

If you believe in Wotnullqueeg, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Wotnullqueeg, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Wotnullqueeg's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Wotnullqueeg's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Voles are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Hide from yellow moths for they are unholy.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.