Kaphatkom is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, conceited crow.

Kaphatkom created dark matter six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kaphatkom, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Kaphatkom, it will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Kaphatkom's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Kaphatkom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of silver.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Never think ill of sick foxes.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.