Wipfettanfem is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, sage fairy.

Wipfettanfem created vertebrates three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wipfettanfem, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Wipfettanfem, she will turn you into a dog.

Wipfettanfem's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Wipfettanfem's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear violet.

2. You must pray to Wipfettanfem three times a day.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate squirrels.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Always help porpoises in need.