Didstanbeg is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, uncaring tortoise.

Didstanbeg created the world eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Didstanbeg, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Didstanbeg, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Didstanbeg's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Didstanbeg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat oranges.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Never wear skirts.

4. Erect a large aluminium sculpture of Didstanbeg on top of all buildings.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.