Ven is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, unjust crow.

Ven created light three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ven, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Ven, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Ven's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Ven's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from green doves for they are unholy.

2. Do not drink water in blue rooms.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Hide if four aardvarks approach from the north.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.