Bestmiflak is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, uncaring coyote.

Bestmiflak created the Cigar Galaxy seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bestmiflak, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Bestmiflak, it will turn you into a plant.

Bestmiflak's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Bestmiflak's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Bestmiflak.

2. Never mention tortoises.

3. Capybaras are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Do not drink water in red rooms.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate pigs.