Sidpanyog is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, grumpy beaver.

Sidpanyog created energy three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sidpanyog, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Sidpanyog, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Sidpanyog's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Sidpanyog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Always help sick tortoises.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.