Arpcetbus is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, humane goose.

Arpcetbus created bats three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Arpcetbus, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Arpcetbus, it will jump up and down on your head.

Arpcetbus' most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Arpcetbus' Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Arpcetbus' name in vain.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. You must love Arpcetbus.

5. Retreat if nine whales approach from the north.