Farnpidcit is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, ruthless jellyfish.

Farnpidcit created the planet Venus eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Farnpidcit, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Farnpidcit, she will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Farnpidcit's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Farnpidcit's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into red rooms.

2. You must never eat cucumbers.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Never paint your feet turquoise.