Botzimbep is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, staggering monkey.

Botzimbep created a quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Botzimbep, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Botzimbep, it will have a very low opinion of you.

Botzimbep's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Botzimbep's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Botzimbep on top of all buildings.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Never run in the presence of moths.

4. Do not shave your legs.

5. Always pray immersed in water.