Zaklargced is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, resourceful zebra.

Zaklargced created tapeworms four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zaklargced, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Zaklargced, he will have a low opinion of you.

Zaklargced's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Zaklargced's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Always look after injured tortoises.

3. Do not eat grapes.

4. Nematodes are not to be trusted.

5. Feed all hungry cats.