Timjarnhim Jarn Habgemjindid is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, proud dingo.

Timjarnhim Jarn Habgemjindid created water nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Timjarnhim Jarn Habgemjindid, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Timjarnhim Jarn Habgemjindid, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Timjarnhim Jarn Habgemjindid's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Timjarnhim Jarn Habgemjindid's Holy Commandments

1. Put Timjarnhim Jarn Habgemjindid first in all things.

2. Never think about planets.

3. You must never eat figs.

4. Never paint your face green.

5. Never talk about galaxies.