Vilgutqueeg is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, irritating fox.

Vilgutqueeg created matter three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vilgutqueeg, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Vilgutqueeg, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Vilgutqueeg's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Vilgutqueeg's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into gray rooms.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Vilgutqueeg.

3. Never wear ear rings.

4. Always obey Vilgutqueeg's priests.

5. Manatees are unholy and should not be approached.