Yarljinxuck is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, astonishing eagle.

Yarljinxuck created the planet Mars five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarljinxuck, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Yarljinxuck, it will turn you into a worm.

Yarljinxuck's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Yarljinxuck's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Always make sure there are no badgers in a building before entering it.

3. Never go into gray rooms.

4. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

5. Always help grasshopers.