Wapfetrak is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, sapient centipede.

Wapfetrak created the Whirlpool Galaxy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wapfetrak, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Wapfetrak, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Wapfetrak's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Wapfetrak's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if eight sharks approach from the west.

2. Do not drink water in white rooms.

3. Never think ill of sick ducks.

4. Do not dye your hair purple.

5. Erect five platinum sculptures of Wapfetrak on top of important buildings.