Nanstragvol is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, resourceful seal.

Nanstragvol created dark energy two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nanstragvol, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Nanstragvol, she will turn you into a plant.

Nanstragvol's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Nanstragvol's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Always wear pink.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Always pray immersed in water.