Hamsag is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, humane donkey.

Hamsag created a down quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Hamsag, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Hamsag, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Hamsag's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Hamsag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Do not wear platinum on your body.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.