Bapmumarm is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, unfair toad.

Bapmumarm created the planet Mars seven million years ago.

If you believe in Bapmumarm, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Bapmumarm, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Bapmumarm's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Bapmumarm's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt cats.

2. You must never eat tomatoes.

3. Never talk about tortoises.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Bapmumarm loves snakes, so they must be honoured.