Jatsadkomlak is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, all-knowing dragon.

Jatsadkomlak created the universe three million years ago.

If you believe in Jatsadkomlak, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Jatsadkomlak, he will turn you into a mole.

Jatsadkomlak's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Jatsadkomlak's Holy Commandments

1. Always help monkeys in need.

2. Never think about amino acids.

3. Run away if four otters approach from the south.

4. Do not trade with those who eat cucumbers.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.