Dussmisrak Tonkzanfun Wadquatvonkbogven is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, uncaring jellyfish.

Dussmisrak Tonkzanfun Wadquatvonkbogven created life four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dussmisrak Tonkzanfun Wadquatvonkbogven, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Dussmisrak Tonkzanfun Wadquatvonkbogven, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Dussmisrak Tonkzanfun Wadquatvonkbogven's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Dussmisrak Tonkzanfun Wadquatvonkbogven's Holy Commandments

1. Do not run in public.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Do not wear tin on your body.

4. Never talk about moons.

5. Always take life seriously.