Rakcamart Stanmifdun is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, omnipotent troll.

Rakcamart Stanmifdun created a top quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Rakcamart Stanmifdun, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Rakcamart Stanmifdun, she will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Rakcamart Stanmifdun's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Rakcamart Stanmifdun's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about black holes.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Never wear gray coats.

4. Do not trade with those who eat cucumbers.

5. Do not laugh in public.