Mapfabnil is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, contented frog.

Mapfabnil created an atom nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Mapfabnil, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Mapfabnil, she will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Mapfabnil's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Mapfabnil's Holy Commandments

1. Never skip in the presence of pigs.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. You must love Mapfabnil.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.