Dosstifarm is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, all-knowing monkey.

Dosstifarm created the Sun nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Dosstifarm, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Dosstifarm, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Dosstifarm's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Dosstifarm's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if four mice approach from the east.

2. Never paint your chest magenta.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Dosstifarm.

4. Never eat aubergines.

5. Never talk about gravity.