Yattiftonk is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, confident gerbil.

Yattiftonk created humankind eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yattiftonk, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Yattiftonk, she will not invite you to parties.

Yattiftonk's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Yattiftonk's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if seven moths approach from the south.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Yattiftonk loves horses, so they must be respected.