Camsafven is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, tranquil owl.

Camsafven created dark energy six billion years ago.

If you believe in Camsafven, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Camsafven, she will boil you in a big pot.

Camsafven's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Camsafven's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about cell theory.

2. Hamsters are not to be trusted.

3. Always wear yellow.

4. Never mention grasshopers.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate monkeys.