Cadgemsig is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, omniscient turtle.

Cadgemsig created bats two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cadgemsig, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Cadgemsig, she will turn you into a rat.

Cadgemsig's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Cadgemsig's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat strawberries.

2. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

3. You must pray to Cadgemsig seven times a day.

4. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

5. Always make sure there are no pigs in a building before entering it.