Nelnutsid Cisswad is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, fussy walrus.

Nelnutsid Cisswad created Africa nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nelnutsid Cisswad, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Nelnutsid Cisswad, it will have a low opinion of you.

Nelnutsid Cisswad's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Nelnutsid Cisswad's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Never look at asteroids.

5. Do not wear silver on your body.