Fiddamcud is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, awe-inspiring human.

Fiddamcud created dark energy seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fiddamcud, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Fiddamcud, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Fiddamcud's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Fiddamcud's Holy Commandments

1. Fiddamcud loves frogs, so they must be respected.

2. Never look at asteroids.

3. Do not dye your hair pink.

4. You must love Fiddamcud.

5. Retreat if seven voles approach from the south.