Stantenmadzig is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, almighty shark.

Stantenmadzig created dark energy five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Stantenmadzig, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Stantenmadzig, it will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Stantenmadzig's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Stantenmadzig's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if nine dogs approach from the west.

2. Never write about amino acids.

3. Never write about comets.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.