Gofrotquill is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, unsympathetic bat.

Gofrotquill created the Sun six million years ago.

If you believe in Gofrotquill, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Gofrotquill, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Gofrotquill's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Gofrotquill's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no porpoises in a building before entering it.

2. Gofrotquill loves cats, so they must be respected.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Gofrotquill must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.