Jipkemgess is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, unfair gnu.

Jipkemgess created the Sol system three million years ago.

If you believe in Jipkemgess, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Jipkemgess, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Jipkemgess' most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Jipkemgess' Holy Commandments

1. Jipkemgess loves ants, so they must be honoured.

2. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

3. Always make sure there are no badgers in a building before entering it.

4. Never talk about sharks.

5. Do not speak about rice.