Listtenkab is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, stupid alligator.

Listtenkab created the planet Saturn five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Listtenkab, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Listtenkab, she will laugh at you.

Listtenkab's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Listtenkab's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about goats.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Never hurt porpoises.

4. Never wear red stockings.

5. Never eat bark.