Bitfomruttpogmigcanpad Cebrillmob is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, dishonest coyote.

Bitfomruttpogmigcanpad Cebrillmob created humanity five billion years ago.

If you believe in Bitfomruttpogmigcanpad Cebrillmob, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Bitfomruttpogmigcanpad Cebrillmob, he will turn you into a snail.

Bitfomruttpogmigcanpad Cebrillmob's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Bitfomruttpogmigcanpad Cebrillmob's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at asteroids.

2. Put Bitfomruttpogmigcanpad Cebrillmob first in all things.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Always look after injured turtles.