Cinquagrak is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, kind human.

Cinquagrak created light three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cinquagrak, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Cinquagrak, he will torture you forever.

Cinquagrak's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Cinquagrak's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Never wear purple jumpers.

3. Never think about black holes.

4. Geese are not to be trusted.

5. Do not shave your head.