Catcapbass Nellfadnan is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, caring hyena.

Catcapbass Nellfadnan created the universe five million years ago.

If you believe in Catcapbass Nellfadnan, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Catcapbass Nellfadnan, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Catcapbass Nellfadnan's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Catcapbass Nellfadnan's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear corsets.

2. Do not wear tin on your body.

3. You must love Catcapbass Nellfadnan.

4. Catcapbass Nellfadnan loves grasshopers, so they must be honoured.

5. Respect your elders.