Bemvilkaddumduss is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, compassionate mongoose.

Bemvilkaddumduss created a charm quark four years ago.

If you believe in Bemvilkaddumduss, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Bemvilkaddumduss, it will turn you into a dog.

Bemvilkaddumduss' most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Bemvilkaddumduss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Always treat ants with great respect.

3. Always obey Bemvilkaddumduss' priests.

4. Do not laugh in public.

5. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.