Kapbestbonlist is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, egotistical toad.

Kapbestbonlist created parasitic wasps five billion years ago.

If you believe in Kapbestbonlist, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Kapbestbonlist, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Kapbestbonlist's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Kapbestbonlist's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Do not speak about turnips.

3. Pray towards the north.

4. Feed all hungry cats.

5. Do not chop down trees.