Tikyatkam is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, witty wyrm.

Tikyatkam created tapeworms two years ago.

If you believe in Tikyatkam, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Tikyatkam, he will curse you with boils.

Tikyatkam's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Tikyatkam's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Never feed melons to moths while wearing fawn corsets.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Do not trade with those who eat rice.

5. Do not speak about turnips.