Cipflanhot is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, weak pig.

Cipflanhot created gold four billion years ago.

If you believe in Cipflanhot, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Cipflanhot, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Cipflanhot's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Cipflanhot's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry cats.

2. Do not drink water in mauve rooms.

3. Worship no other gods but Cipflanhot.

4. Never jump in holy places.

5. Do not trade with those who eat limes.