Bifwotved is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, irritating dog.

Bifwotved created dark energy two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bifwotved, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Bifwotved, it will destroy your home solar system.

Bifwotved's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Bifwotved's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the north.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Hide from gray grasshopers for they are unholy.

5. Always wear yellow.