Volveenxuck is a god.

It takes the form of a small, conceited deer.

Volveenxuck created the Sombrero Galaxy four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Volveenxuck, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Volveenxuck, it will curse you with boils.

Volveenxuck's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Volveenxuck's Holy Commandments

1. Volveenxuck loves tapirs, so they must be respected.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Volveenxuck.

4. Always help sick geese.

5. Retreat if nine tortoises approach from the south.