Nellarncut is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, dishonest weasel.

Nellarncut created tapeworms six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nellarncut, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Nellarncut, he will turn you into a frog.

Nellarncut's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Nellarncut's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into brown rooms.

2. Nellarncut must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate seals.

4. Manatees are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.