Bell is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, ruthless snail.

Bell created tapeworms three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bell, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Bell, it will boil you in a big pot.

Bell's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Bell's Holy Commandments

1. Goats are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Bell loves badgers, so they must be honoured.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Always help swans.

5. Run away from white foxes, for they are unholy.