Kimjopcan is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, cheerful hare.

Kimjopcan created a strange quark four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kimjopcan, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Kimjopcan, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Kimjopcan's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Kimjopcan's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Never write about comets.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Do not shave your hands.

5. Never write about amino acids.