Bodtenwig is a god.

She takes the form of a large, two-faced dove.

Bodtenwig created humankind four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bodtenwig, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Bodtenwig, she will turn you into a sheep.

Bodtenwig's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Bodtenwig's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your head white.

2. Always look after injured frogs.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Bodtenwig loves snakes, so they must be honoured.

5. Always treat seals with great respect.