Kinkopvog is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, unthinking gorilla.

Kinkopvog created dark matter nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kinkopvog, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Kinkopvog, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Kinkopvog's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Kinkopvog's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not kill shrews.

4. Never go into violet rooms.

5. Kinkopvog must be the most important thing in your life.