Bafartnurt is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, narcissistic tortoise.

Bafartnurt created bats four years ago.

If you believe in Bafartnurt, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Bafartnurt, he will curse you with boils.

Bafartnurt's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Bafartnurt's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if six horses approach from the west.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Bafartnurt on top of all buildings.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Do not eat wheat.